for you :')

it has been messed up. all i want is going back to our old times when i was loving you, adoring you, respecting you. you were the smartest, kindest, the most adorable, the most understanding man i ever knew. i always thought how happy i'm to have you by my side, how happy i'm to have you. until, as times goes by, i knew, you were ruining me, hurting me from the inside.
i know nobody's perfect, i know everybody has their own wrong-doing, i know everybody must be lack on something. but i didn't know you are this unperfect, so uncool. i wish i don't know anything. keep tinking that you are innocent.
doesn't mean that i hate you. i can't hate you, anyway. but i can't see you as the way i was any longer. what should i do? this is so frustating, thinking myself as a cold hearted bad girl. losing my respect towards you. no matter how much i try to be a good girl and respect you like before. no, maybe i'm not trying at all, i can't even try. i don't know how to. i'm so sorry my heart is all numb i don't even have any tears.
i hope i will get back on my sense really soon